


I still pray to you, Angel

by DCMarvelWhovian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I hope it's fluff, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, it took me hella long don't know why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 11:21:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11160831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DCMarvelWhovian/pseuds/DCMarvelWhovian
Summary: Dean thinks Cas is cheating on him





	I still pray to you, Angel

**Author's Note:**

> It is the first fanfic I'm posting sooo please don't be rough on me...? Aaaand english isn't really my first language so i really am sorry for all the mistakes in the story  
> Enjoy ;)

They fucking did it again. After promising each other they would never fight again about it and here they were. Dean was sure Cas was considering leaving just now. His fiancé left their house immediately after there was sound of pure silence between them just to be interrupted with a slam of the door.

God, how could he? How could he ever suspect Cas of cheating on him? He would never be capable of that. They loved each other and now Dean was going to be alone because of his own stupid jealousy and over possessiveness to his beloved one, who surely doesn’t want to put up with this his whole life.

He unconsciously made his way to the white piano standing in the corner of the bright living room and sat down on the chair. Guilt and panic washed through him when he realized he was going to be alone from now on.

His fingers moved slowly on the keys and only when he started the song started, he added text to it.

_Somebody said you’ve got a new friend._

Oh, that suited him just perfectly. The way he felt hurt and embarrassed and guilty for what he did.

_Does she love you better than I can?_

He felt so small, and so alone. Cas wasn’t at home often now and instead of just asking he had his own unfair suspicions.

_And yeah, I know it’s stupid, but I just gotta see it for myself._

And he saw it because he laughed with her more than he did at home lately. Cas seemed much happier with Hanna. And he didn’t blame him for it, she was beautiful. And smart, and didn’t suffer from self-hatred or self-doubt on each step she took. He then remembered that Cas never denied anything Dean charged him with.

_I’m in the corner watching you kiss her. And I’m right over here, why can’t you see me?_

God, why was it so cold in here.

_And I’m giving it my all but I’m not the guy you’re taking home, oh._

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do this again. I didn’t want to disappoint you again. I need you, Cas, like I always do. You fill me up, angel, like no one else does. I can make it up to you, I know I can, if you just let me._

His eyes turned upwards in a prayer and with a broken voice he sang his little prayer to the sky hoping the right person would hear him.

_I keep dancing on my own._

This was stupid, he was stupid for saying allHe felt tears prickling his eyes and wet his fingers and the keys. He clutched his eyes shut immediately and tried to calm his shaky breath. It hurt so much, knowing that he went to her place while he sat here singing his bleeding heart out. Cas was surely glad to have one problem solved already but Dean couldn’t hate him for it. As much as he’d try he could never do that.

So far away, but still so near, the lights come up, the music dies.

He couldn’t take it anymore. If loving hurt so much he didn’t want it to go on. He was too weak for that, it was already breaking him. He missed Cas so much already. He then remembered something, something he always sang at the end of a few songs which made Cas and he smile every time. But he changed it a little.

I’d love a last ‘’Hello, Dean’’.

The first sentence Cas told him. How would he ever forget that, the words that welcomed him every morning and he heard them when coming home from work. He wanted to go back in time and never let it happen. Never let anything come between them and never let them walk separate ways. Knowing no one could hear him anyway he finished the song with a desperate plead to his angel. The one that every soul screamed to heaven when passing away because that’s exactly how he felt. A part of him felt like he was dying, Cas was never coming back to him, he let him slip through his fingers and someone else was going to take care of him now. That was the prize he was going to pay for it which he had the rest of his life for, be alone.

 _Amen. Amen, I pray to you angel, just the last time_.

He quietly played the outro but before he was done, Dean broke into quiet sobs, his hands coming up to cover his eyes his elbows hitting the keys when he leaned forward.

‘’Damn it, Cas,’’ he growled into the silence. No one answered him, he was alone as he was going to be from now on, because he was an asshole and couldn’t even keep the person he loved by his side. It all suddenly became too overwhelming, the house had so many happy memories and Dean knew he couldn’t stay here, too. He couldn’t look at Cas’ tie draped over the couch or his books in every room of the house he knew he would come to take away. But Dean will make it easier and move out of the way for him. If that was what would make him happy Dean was going to do this. He couldn’t hope Cas would come back to him and eventually say it was just a joke, or that it was all just a bad dream.

Dean stood up and turned around to be surprised by his soon not to be fiancé leaning on the doorframe, there were traces of fresh tears on his cheeks and a small smile tugging at his lips, Dean knew he heard him.

He dropped his gaze in embarrassment. ‘’I’m sorry. I’m leaving, don’t worry,’’ he managed to say and moved toward the door but a surprised voice stopped him in his tracks. ‘’What do you mean?’’ he looked up at Cas’ confused face which was tilted to the side and felt his throat clench at the sight.

He took a deep breath to calm down a little and started again: ‘’About y- you being here.’’

‘’I’m not going anywhere,’’ he heard him respond, Cas’ head shaking in assurance and hope shining in his eyes. He placed his hand on Dean’s arm, but he quickly took it in his and let it fall to its place.

‘’I know,’’ he swallowed loudly. ‘’That’s why I do,’’ Dean tried to look in his lover’s eyes which he found was harder than he expected.

‘’Dean, what are you talking about?’’ Cas didn’t seem to let go easily and grabbed Dean’s forearms looking in his. ‘’Neither of us is leaving, especially you.’’

‘’Yeah, Cas, I get it bu- ‘’ he started but he was immediately interrupted by Cas again.

‘’This is our house, you grew up here and we live together now. You are not leaving. Either am I. Do you know why? Because you love me and I love you and I could never cheat on you and I never did because you mean too much for me, Dean. In this house, we are going to celebrate our wedding, have children and raise them together. Of course, we are going to fight, that happens to everyone, but we are so much stronger than that and we’ll get through this all, because we love each other and we can’t live without each other,’’ he paused to cup Dean’s face with his hands and pulled him down to rest their foreheads against each other.

‘’I love you, Dean Winchester. And I know you’re still unsure about us but I assure you: as long as you love me too, you’ll have me forever, because it hurts being without you and even if you won’t want me here anymore I’m not going to walk away because you’ll have to try harder than tha- ‘’

Dean stopped his speech by pulling him in a bone-crushing hug and hid his face in Cas’ neck whispering quiet ‘I’m sorry’s and trying to stop his tears that were burning his eyes again. Cas hugged him back, putting his arms around Dean’s shoulders and answering with sweet nothings in his ear. But he soon felt Dean pull away but not let go of his waist. ‘’I’m sorry. I did it again instead of just talk to you,’’ he dropped his eyes again and started to play with the edge of Cas’ shirt. Cas quickly lifted Dean’s chin to force their eyes to meet, and looked at him with such affection that made Dean’s cheeks flush under the intensity of it.

‘’It’s all right. I’m not mad at you,’’ he smiled at him softly. ‘’I love you, remember?’’ he said again that day and Dean had to smile at it.

‘’I love you, too,’’ he laughed when Cas rubbed their noses together that was what his Mom always called an Eskimo kiss and leaned into the actual kiss that Cas placed on his lips. Their lips moved slowly against each other, there was no lust but love and forgiveness shared between them in this moment.

 -_-

Their wedding was eight months later and they both almost left out all the planning when receiving a list they had to order or prepare from Charlie they almost left it all out except the marrying each other thing. It took them long but they made it without great misunderstandings and ended up with the most beautiful wedding anyone has ever seen. But no one knew that in secret Dean called it his wedding with an angel which always got Cas flustered and told him to shut up, but couldn’t stop himself from falling in love with his husband more every day.

And Dean? He became the happiest man on the earth, no, in the entire universe because after all he got what he always dreamed of having, Castiel was his husband.

But before we come to an end I must reveal that our Dean-o was convinced by his friends to play a song for Cas in front of everyone and he chose probably the cheesiest one: ‘’La vie en rose’’. He explained he would sing the lyrics if he knew them though he sang them with a beautiful accent to his angel almost everyday.

And yes, they had their happy ever after with many kids but yet no animals because their daughter Mary’s Preference was to have a cat which their son Adam didn’t find acceptable but they weren't going to buy a snake either but that's a Story for another time.

**Author's Note:**

> woahh i didn't know i had to change everything in that 'rich text' thing and it took longer than expected but here it is.  
> And? How did you like it?? :)


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